QUARANTINE

Thursday afternoon I walked in to get Mercedes up from her nap and found her throwing up. We were about to leave for an important doctors appointment for Taylor. Plans changed, Taylor's mom went with him while I stayed with sick baby.

Friday night was the last time she threw up. I was relieved when she made it through the night and the next day she was feeling better. Happy day!

My dad was in town for MTC work, I had been looking forward to the visit for weeks, but because Mercedes got sick we had to cancel. I hated knowing he was only 25 minutes away at my grandparents. Saturday night I sanitized everything and we planned to meet my dad at church the next day, where we would be able to spend part of the day with him before his flight home to Provo.

Sunday, 2:00 a.m. I'm in the bathroom, and I'm sick. So bummed, disappointed, frustrated, worried, etc. I texted my dad in the morning and told him we wouldn't be able to meet him. We'd just have to wait to see him for a couple of more days when we fly to Utah for our Christmas visit. I was still bummed though.

Now worry set in that we would maybe not make our flight early Tuesday morning. But more than that I was worried for my husband, who has a weakened immune system and just spent 5 days in the hospital.

I quarantined myself in the bathroom. Taylor's sister Hannah who had just gotten into town the night before came to take Mercedes with her to church so that Taylor could rest. We are so grateful for her and for the rest of our family.

For the next 24 hours I stayed in the bathroom. I realized something, and that is that you could actually survive in a bathroom for practically forever if you had to...as long as someone brings you food.

I began to see the humor in the situation. Every so often as I lay on my makeshift bed on the floor of the bathroom, my husband would bring me a snack, with face mask and all. We weren't taking any chances. If it weren't for the Ipad and the never-ending abundance of online streaming Netflix movies, I don't know if I would have been able to do it and stay sane.

My body was getting quite sore from laying on the floor, but I didn't want to bother sanitizing any kind of air mattress/bed that was being offered. All of the blankets I had would be thrown in the wash after I was done.

By late afternoon Sunday (yesterday) I was feeling much better. I decided to stay until the next morning, just as an extra precaution. This morning I woke up and noticed how comfortable the floor felt. "Hmm, that's strange." I thought. "Maybe this is how people all around the world are able to sleep on floors their whole lives." The day before I had been thinking about it and wondered how people in third-world countries and other places sleep on hard surfaces. Maybe their bodies always ache, I don't know?

I woke this morning, stuffed all of my blankets, pillow cases, dirty clothes, etc. into a plastic bag, I sanitized the bathroom, bathed, put on clean clothes and happy days I left the bathroom for the first time in about 30 hours. I felt like a new woman. Mercedes came into the hall and it was so wonderful to see her beautiful face!

I HATE hate HATE the stomach flu but one of the worst parts about this whole experience was listening to my husband and daughter the whole time from the inside of the bathroom and not being able to see them. Every so often Mercedes would knock or pound on the bathroom door and yell, probably wondering "why in the world is mommy staying in the bathroom?".

One of the sweetest moments during this experience was last night while I heard Taylor getting Mercedes ready for bed. I stopped my movie to listen. I could hear them on our bed, as Taylor read the scriptures to Mercedes and then had family prayer with her. My heart melted. I am so grateful for my husband, and I love him so much.

Today we are trying to get some rest and also prepare for our early departure for Utah tomorrow. We're supposed to fly out of Reno at 9:55 in the morning which means we're leaving our apartment at about 6:00 a.m. I keep praying that Taylor will stay well, both before we leave and after.

All I can say is, what a ride it has been!

Finally some pictures!

I'm so glad I remembered to take a few pictures while my mom was here this time. I did forget to get a picture of all of us in one picture. I guess that will have to happen over Christmas.

We can't help the weirdness when we get together.

Us in our pajama glory.

More weirdness.

Mercedes had so much fun with her Grandma Jenne. I loved having her here too.

I can't help feeling a little silly taking pictures of myself and then posting them but I just had to about my hair.

It just keeps getting shorter.

How does that happen?

I blame it on a short hair addiction, every time I go to get it cut I want it done shorter than the last time.

Plus I have the most fantastic personal hair professional stylist ever, and she is my sister. It's pretty awesome.

I have to admit it is very freeing.

Short!!!

It catches me off guard sometimes when I see myself in the mirror,

But I LOVE it. :)

Now for fall family photos.

These were taken just before Thanksgiving in Taylor's parents' backyard.

The colors on the tree were beautiful!

The whole Nelson family.

It gets bigger every year. :)

Sitting here on a Sunday morning

We're still in The ICU but things are getting much better and Taylor may even be moved out onto the regular floor today. He had no sign of a fever last night and that was wonderful. The nurse gave me the okay to sleep with him in his hospital bed last night. We were so happy about that and it also meant I was going to get more sleep than I was planning on. At five in the morning I let him have his bed to himself because he was starting to feel sore and needed to stretch out. I was able to get a few more hours of sleep in the waiting room and over all I was able to get almost a full nights sleep. That was a wonderful thing.

This morning I finished my dad's book 'Kia Toa' he wrote about five years back. It's based around his mission he served in the Cook Islands back when he was 19 to 21 years of age. I loved the book so much. Not only has it been a strength to me spiritually but it has been like having my dad right here with me strengthening me with his presence and testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

This morning I'm feeling so touched by the spirit. A friend of mine (Kristin (: ) commented on my last post and she quoted something Julie B. Beck of the general relief society presidency said. In her talk she talked about someone who through her trials she didn't just get through it with her testimony, but that it was her testimony that got her through the trials she went through. Taylor and I feel this same way. Where would I be without this wonderful gospel which fills us with light and truth? And makes it possible to get through this mortal existence not only with extra strength and hope but the ability to still be happy through the worst of times.

There is a man in the room next to us who was in a car accident and all through the night we could hear the nurses telling him to wake up, and hang in there, and to not try to sit up because his neck was broken. I peeked throu our curtain and saw the man laying on the hospital bed with a brace on, cords and tubes going everywhere and some sort of ventilator on his face. Early this morning Taylor heard a woman outside the man's room crying. How I wish they had the comfort and strength we feel having the knowledge of the gospel.

I know that my little family is not alone, not only because we have numerous family members and friends doing everything they can to help us, but because I know that Heavenly Father is guiding us through this. And though at times I feel like I just don't know how to continue forward I know that that is when Christ picks me up and carries me the rest of the way. And for whatever reason, we're going through this to shape us into who Heavenly Father wants us to become. I am so grateful for this gospel and I know that it is true. I know that Heavenly Father loves each one of us on this earth, and more than I can comprehend. Being a parent and spouse has given me just a taste of what Heavenly Father must feel for his children. And it is beautiful.

2 Timothy 1:7

As I was sitting here next to my sleeping husband in the ICU I thought it would be a good time to write here on this blog. My emotions have been so fragile lately and I'm fighting to keep myself composed so I don't look like a mess to the nurses. As I pointed out, we are back in the hospital for a third time in just over as many months. With all of the complications of Taylor's ulcerative colitis and trying new medications to get him well he's seemed to catch some sort of virus or get some kind of infection. We're still waiting for results from the lab to tell us exactly what it is. A fever and chills is what drove us in here in the first place.

Two nights ago Taylor was transferred into the ICU because some of his numbers were up and they weren't coming down. Taylor's dad came and gave him a fathers blessing before they took him up. I am so grateful for the priesthood.

The nurse dropped me off in the waiting room so they could get Taylor settled in. I hated leaving him, he was so nervous. So was I. Later the nurse returned for me and I anxiously walked back and came in to see Taylor with a tortured expression on his face. Nurses were sticking needles in him left and right, his temperature was almost 103 and rising and he literally looked as if he was at his breaking point. He's been going through so much for so long. I hope I never have to see that expression on his face again. I stared to get dizzy as I watched him in pain and as I watched the nurses stick him over and over. They were having little success getting the blood samples they needed.

Time passed and his temperature rose to a high of 105.2. For what seemed like hours it wasn't coming down. I kept thinking "if ICU can't bring down the fever then what is going to happen?". As minutes passed I stared at the monitor watching his numbers and I felt so affraid. Around three thirty in the morning I felt like I was going crazy with worry. I went into the hall and called my mom who was awake in Utah. I broke down and told her how scared I was. I told her how scared I was for my husband and also how much I miss mercedes. She told me she would be flying out the next day. I was relieved to hear it and I felt a little strengthened. Later I slept a in a chair in the hospital room and as morning crept in his fever broke and eventually that along with his heart rate was within normal range again.

His fever returned last night but wasn't as high. His mom stayed with him in the night so that I could get a good nights sleep at our place and spend some time with Mercedes. My mom got into town last night and I am so glad she is here. She is at home with Mercedes now.

I keep feeling fear and worry overwhelm me as I sit and wonder "what next?". How long will he be in the hospital this time and how long can i last feeling like my heart is torn apart between being with my daughter at home and then being with taylor at the hospital. How long is this all really going to last? How many more days, weeks, months will it be before Taylor is well again? And I can't even imagine the worst. I love Taylor so much, he is the most amazing man. I need him always. I'm trying so hard to be strong for him.

Through all this I'm trying to keep an eternal perspective. Sometimes it's all I can do to keep from falling into despair. And then I try to think about how much worse it could be. I am so grateful I'm not in the middle of a pregnancy right now, I'm so grateful I have only one baby to miss rather than five little ones. I'm so grateful that we are living now rather than fifty years ago because fifty years ago colitis was practically a death sentence. I'm so grateful for doctors and nurses, hospitals and medical technology. Things could be worse, and I am thankful they are not. But this is still hard. I just have to remember that I'm not necessarily supposed to feel fear and despair. It is natural to feel and part of being mortal but Heavenly Father has shown us another way and i try to remember it. Life is better when we remember.

2 Timothy 1:7

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

I need to remember to have faith and hope, and remember that the Lord through the atonement knows exactly what our little family is going through. And because he has felt it I can trust that he can carry me and us through this. I am so grateful for this gospel and I am grateful for trials. As amazingly difficult as this has been, it has made me a different person, and I feel for others like I never have before. There is so much love in this world. There is so much charity and selfless service. To be on the receiving end has been a humbling experience and a blessing beyond measure.

The pixie is here!

I made the leap and cut it short. Thanks to my sis-in-law Christina now I have a fresh new look and it feels so good! I've never had it this short but I really love it. I'm still getting used to my reflection but it's so fun to have my hair this short. And the hubby LOVES it so that's always a plus. :)

Speaking of the hubby, the poor man has had it rough. Up until about two and a half weeks ago he was starting to feel pretty good, and he was feeling like he was really starting to get better. Out of nowhere he was hit hard two weeks ago with a flare up and has been feeling like he did through the thick of everything. He's back to loosing more weight (which he really can't afford), he's in a lot of pain, and most of the other symptoms which were starting to go away have returned. Back in the summer he weighed 205 lbs. NOW he's down to 166 lbs. That's not good. This has been pretty discouraging for us and we're trying to figure out why he's so sick again. He had a scheduled appointment with the GI specialist but it wasn't for another few weeks and so day after day we've been calling, trying to get a hold of the doctor and trying to somehow talk to him personally and not through the nurses, office aids, etc. I was really feeling like we were not getting help! FINALLY the doctor called my cell yesterday while I was getting my hair cut and after I talked to him for a bit I had him call Taylor who was at home. Apparently the doctor had an appointment set up for him to come in last Thursday, it was his last appointment of the day but nobody showed up. Guess what? NOBODY CALLED AND TOLD US ABOUT THE APPOINTMENT IN THE FIRST PLACE! And now the doctor is going to be out of the office for two more weeks and so we can't see him until two weeks from tomorrow. I was very VERY frustrated, to say the least. Well, he gave some doctorly advice for Taylor which will hopefully help until he can see him in two weeks. Ahh I'm still trying to blow off steam about the whole thing, and instead I'm trying to be grateful. This is not a perfect world, and especially when working with hospitals and doctors, it's not going to be the simplest thing.

More than anything in this whole world I just want to see Taylor feel well again. He's so tired of laying in bed and not feeling well. He has been through SO much. He is such a strong man through it all and he is also the sweetest. We're just trying to be strong, we'll get through this and soon he'll be well again. I just hope it's sooner, rather than later.

Obsessions of late

So lately I have been obsessed with the music group The Civil Wars.

I listen to them ALL OF THE TIME on pandora.com.

Also, a new love and favorite pass-time of mine is pinterest.com.

I may spend a little too much time on that website, but I've gotten so many great ideas from it! To sum up the way I feel about it, I think it's just awesome.

Another obsession of late is short hair. I cut my hair a while back and now each time I get a trim I can't help wanting to cut it shorter than the last! I've decided it's because now that my hair is already short, I have nothing to lose! Here is the latest cut I'm going to get.

As soon as I saw this cut I almost went crazy. With some thought I've decided I'm brave enough to give it a try.

I'll post pictures when I've done it. Ah I can't wait!

I've also fallen into a stripes obsession. It's been going on for about 8 months now and it's only growing with time. I love all things stripes, from home decor to apparel and accessories. Can't get enough of it! (Hence the choice of blog background).

....And here are the birthday photos!

Taylor's birthday was September 19th. He turned 27! I'd like to thank my father-in-law Galen for taking the wonderful photos. (They're out of order from what actually took place but, you won't notice!)

We threw a small family party for Taylor at our house.

Mercedes with her uncle Thomas. I think she was drawing on his arm.
My wonderful mother-in-law Tammy and father-in-law Galen.
The newlyweds Jonathan and BJ!

This man loves and adores his little girl, that's for sure. She's crazy about him too.

This was a very DELICIOUS cake. But I can't take the credit, that belongs to Pinterest.

I thought this shirt would look good on him. And now I can tell you that, yes, yes it does.

And of course it looks good on Mercedes too.





Happy (late) Birthday babe!

Someday photos will come!

Today I promised my best friend Lacey that I would be better about blogging if she promised to create her own blog. Well whether or not she does make a blog I decided I need to be better no matter what. I think what I need to do is really decide WHY I want to keep a blog. Is it just because I want to post things for friends and family to see, or is it something I will keep and cherish through time? Maybe if I set some goals and decide what I'm doing with this blog I'll be better about it. I think I'll need some time to figure this out. In the mean time, here are some photos, etc!

I believe in my last post I said I would post pictures of Taylor's birthday. I'll do that now. :) Taylor's birthday was on the 19th of September. He turned 27!

....Oh goodness, for some reason blogger is not letting me upload photos. Hopefully I'll get this working soon! Until then.

A long post but filled with what's goin' on

This is not a bright and colorful post but might explain why my posts have not happened for the last little while. Okay, (deep breath) where to begin? Alright, I'm going to give some background information first off.

Taylor has Ulcerative Colitis. He started experiencing real symptoms just after we were married, but it wasn't until about a year later that he was diagnosed by a doctor.

(For anyone who doesn't know, *taken from Wikipedia* Ulcerative Colitis is a form of inflammatory bowel disease (IBD). Ulcerative colitis is a form of colitis, a disease of the intestine, specifically the large intestine or colon, that includes characteristic ulcers, or open sores, in the colon. The main symptom of active disease is usually constant diarrhea mixed with blood, of gradual onset. Ulcerative colitis has similarities to Crohn's disease, another form of IBD. Ulcerative colitis is an intermittent disease, with periods of exacerbated symptoms, and periods that are relatively symptom-free. Although the symptoms of ulcerative colitis can sometimes diminish on their own, the disease usually requires treatment to go into remission.)

For the last two years he went on and off of medication and we didn't really do much to take care of it. We also did some homeopathic stuff but again, weren't too dedicated to anything. He would have flare ups here and there but it wasn't something we took very seriously. We basically kept putting off taking care of it for various reasons.

The summer began and so did another busy few months for our family and especially for Taylor. On top of Taylor not feeling well, he was taking a full load of summer classes at Sierra College, working 30 hours a week all while trying to fit in family vacations. During our trip to Utah in July (another post still waiting to happen), Taylor's health really started to decline. When we got back at the end of July we finally worked to set up an appointment with a doctor. Because of different complications due to our health care we weren't able to get an appointment until the beginning of September. Taylor continued his busy schedule and for three weeks he would go to work barely functioning. After work he would come home, collapse on the couch and would be down until the next morning where he would barely be able to shower and get out of the door to work again. On August 14th (Sunday) he started having pains that kept him home from work the next day. By the 16th (Tuesday) he was having such excruciating pain that we decided to get help. We got into the ER and he was taken back to triage within 15 minutes. 30 minutes later he was taken into the back and they began an IV and a little later they started a blood transfusion. Taylor had been bleeding from his bowels and we came to find out that he was critically low on blood. He was admitted and stayed there for three days. Within the first 24 hours he was given 6 units of blood. If you look it up, a normal hemoglobin (red blood cell count) level for men is 14 to 18. Taylor's level at the time we went into the ER was between a 4 and 3. The doctor said that if a person were to lose that much blood all at once they would be unconscious. But because it was gradual with Taylor and because he is young and strong his body had been adapting to it. But barely, he was barely functioning at the time and his body was shutting down.

Like I said he was there for three days and then released with a steroid called Prednisone (to stop the inflammation) and some other meds. Taylor was still bleeding but much less and the medicines were supposed to get it to eventually stop. They were unable to prescribe him actual colitis medication because they weren't the doctors who diagnosed him in the first place. They wanted to do a colonoscopy while he was there so that they could diagnose it themselves but because of the pain he was in they didn't want to push it. We found a doctor who would be able to see us the next week for a follow up appointment. And there we would work on a referral for a GI specialist for Taylor. When we left the hospital they said that if the bleeding started to get worse we would need to come back in.

A week and a half later the bleeding had gotten worse again and we were back into the ER. They admitted him for another 4 days. While he was there they were able to do a colonoscopy and confirm for themselves that it was ulcerative colitis. The day before he went home they gave him one more unit of blood just as a precaution because his levels were close to the transfusion level which is around an 8. Still much much higher that it was when we went into the ER the first time but obviously still very low over all. Unfortunately Taylor's hospital stay was during his brother Adam's wedding, and we were HEARTBROKEN to miss it. But the bride and groom were so sweet and they came and visited us after their sealing in wedding suit, wedding gown and all. Also during this stay my family came out from Utah for support and to help with Mercedes while Taylor's family was doing the wedding. My mom and brothers were already planning to come out that weekend because my brother Jordan had gotten home from his mission that Tuesday. When we first got into the ER and found out Taylor would be admitted for a second time I called my mom and broke down over the phone, asking her if they could come sooner. They left the next day and my dad decided to come also, canceling his trip with his brothers to Kansas. That meant so much to me and I was so happy he came. After Taylor was released from the hospital and before my family headed back to Utah my dad gave me the sweetest blessing and it has been such a strength and support for me.

Taylor's been home for 2 and a half weeks now and it's been kind of touch and go. He's been on a few medications but is beginning to taper off of the Prednisone which he is very happy about. That stuff is nasty apparently. As in it brings so many side affects such as poor sleep, acne, moodiness, among others. We're seeing results but it's very slow though and he has good days and bad days. We finally got our own GI specialist for Taylor and he will be seeing him next week.

Taylor is obviously unable to work right now and so he is taking disability leave until the end of November, when hopefully he'll be doing much better. He has also had to take the semester off from school and will return back in January.

I wanted to be with Taylor as much as possible while he was at the hospital but it was so hard to be away from Mercedes. Anyone who's had close loved ones in the hospital will understand that it feels like your heart is torn in two because you want to be with both (or all) of your loved ones, but you can't. Thankfully family was here to take care of Mercedes while I felt I needed to be with Taylor.

This has been a long hard trial for our family and most of all for Taylor. but it has also been an experience that has strengthened us and really opened our eyes to the many small miracles that are happening to us. I can't express enough the gratitude we feel towards all of our family, ward members and friends who have helped us in every way possible. We are so grateful for the many fasts and prayers that have been given and said for us. I know that Taylor was supposed to go into the ER that first time and though Taylor had to go through terrible pain I'm so grateful that he had it because that is what drove us into the ER in the first place. We had no idea his condition was as serious as it was. Looking back now it is much more obvious and we will never let it get that bad again. I can't even imagine what might have happened if we kept waiting for Taylor's scheduled doctor's appointment. I can't even think about it. The seriousness really became a reality to me when I opened the hospital bill from the first ER visit and on the paper it said that it was a level 5 emergency. I searched online what that meant and this is what I read from a person who used to do medical coding. They said it "refers to the highest level of care provided in the ER, which includes a comprehensive history, a comprehensive exam, and medical decision making of high complexity by the medical staff. It should show a code of 99285.
"usually, the presenting problems are of high severity, and pose an immediate significant threat to life or physiologic function."

I looked at the bill again and there I saw the code 99285. I immediately started to cry.

Taylor has been wiped out through all of this and we are learning that it is going to take time for him to really feel well again. If any of you have seen him lately it is obvious he's been through heck physically. He's lost 35 pounds since the end of July. He's doing so much better now than he was though and things are definitely looking up. We're just hoping that the medicines will keep working to get him better again.

We have been SO blessed through all of this and we have felt the Lord's help and strength this whole time. Our families have been AMAZING and have helped us so much. We honestly don't know where we would be without them.

Well, there you have it. I neglected our blog because I knew I would have to write about all this at some point and I think I kind of felt like I didn't want to face it again. But I did want to write about it, and I'm glad that I've done it.

Now I can go back to posting about our daily lives! Like Taylor's birthday at the beginning of the week, Taylor's dad took some great photos. I'll post them soon!

Well, it's been a while

Okay, it seems like I do this all too often but I have gone quite a while this time without posting. And with the encouragement of Lacey and Katelin I'm throwing up a post! This one is actually just a pre-post though. It's the middle of the afternoon and I am not able to sit at the computer for very long but I'm planning to put up a good long post tonight. (Because a lot has happened in the last two months and it will take a while to tell about it). SO, with that said I will be posting again soon!
I just had to throw this photo up here. Isn't she so sweet!? I just love that face. (Now 19 months old, crazy!)

I did it!

Well, after some thought yesterday I decided that short hair was the way to go. We went over to my mother-in-law Tammy's house to hang out and while Mercedes and I were there I had my soon-to-be sister-in-law Christina cut my hair. She is almost done with hair school and is already AMAZING at what she does.

Now I have short hair... and I LOVE IT!!!!! It is seriously amazing, I feel so great with my new hair cut.

Here are some photos I took shortly after it was done. (Please excuse the picture quality).




I did enjoy my long hair but every time I saw a photo of myself I would notice how limp and shapeless my hair looked. I have very fine hair and because of that my hair got really hard to deal with as it got longer. I needed a change!

There's nothing like a new hairstyle to freshen up the way you feel and look!

Tempted to cut my hair!

Seriously, I think I'm actually thinking of doing it. SHORT. I'm so tempted!! I'm at a point with my hair that I'm extremely bored with it. I'll do my hair thinking it looks cute and then half the time when I see a photo of myself my hair looks limp and shapeless. I'm feeling like I need a change. But I don't know!! Here's what I'm thinking:We'll see if I actually decided to do it or not!

A totally random thought I just felt like sharing

This post is about something I noticed a while back, and when I watched SUPERMAN the other day it made me think about it again, SO I decided to blog about it! Here goes-

If you've seen the old Superman movies with Christopher Reeves, you may or may not remember the part in the first one where he told his height and weight to Louis Lane. He said he was about 6'4" and 225 lbs.
Those measurements may have been a little off from his actual measurements for Hollywood purposes but looking at this photo, it seems that it could be pretty accurate, right?

I've always thought there was one thing wrong with the BMI chart. It only takes into account height and weight, with no way of knowing how much of that weight is muscle or fat. So one day just out of curiosity I typed Superman's measurements into a BMI calculator online to see what came up.
Yeah, I don't see Superman as "overweight" either. In the end, I guess the BMI chart is just a guide (although I believe it is not 100% accurate) to help us see what area we are in and what area we should be in. If you want a more accurate measurement of things there are other ways of getting them.

I just had to share that funny fact!